


twitter

by evotter



Series: u got games on yo phone??? [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Social Media AU, but i needed a break from writing the superhero angst lol, i will defend the remus and lily friendship until i die, in case it isnt OBVIOUS the remus/lily is PLATONIC ONLY, pete doesnt exist bc honestly im tired of writing his fake ass when i cant give him character, this is all jily and nothing but jily and honestly sap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-19 20:00:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17607995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evotter/pseuds/evotter
Summary: Lily Evans to James Potter: i want a babyJames Potter: noLily Evans: oh okay





	twitter

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in like. an hour.

_Lily Evans_ to _James Potter:_ i want a baby

 _James Potter:_ no

 _Lily Evans:_ oh okay

\---

 _Lily Evans_ to _Remus Lupin:_ i want a baby

 _Remus Lupin:_ Like...to hang out with?

\---

 _James Potter_ to _Lily Evans:_ wait come back don’t ask another guy i’ll do it

\---

 _Lily Evans_ to _Remus Lupin:_ disregard that

 _Remus Lupin:_ Oh

 _Remus Lupin:_ OH

 _Remus Lupin:_ Lily did u seriously just ask me that

 _Lily Evans:_ james said no i wanted to explore my options

 _Remus Lupin:_ So u came to me?

 _Lily Evans:_ duh

 _Lily Evans:_ ;)

 _Remus Lupin:_ Then why did u say disregard

 _Lily Evans:_ bc james said don’t ask another guy

 _Remus Lupin:_ He knows u too well huh

 _Lily Evans:_ yep

 _Lily Evans:_ if u’d have said yes i would have immediately taken it back tho

 _Remus Lupin:_ That’s really hurtful, u know

 _Lily Evans:_ sry :(

 _Remus Lupin:_ If we ever had kids, they’d be the smartest and snarkiest kids ever

 _Remus Lupin:_ Also extremely good looking

 _Lily Evans:_ i agree

 _Lily Evans:_ why did we not think about having a kid earlier

 _Remus Lupin:_ Bc u’ve been dating my best friend for 3 years

 _Remus Lupin:_ And also, I’m gay

 _Lily Evans:_ coulda just led with that one

 _Remus Lupin:_ Are u saying if I wasn’t gay u would literally still be down to have a child despite dating James for 3 years

 _Lily Evans:_ didnt ever say that

 _Lily Evans:_ will never confirm that for the sake of my absolutely lovely boyfriend whom i adore and cherish

 _Remus Lupin:_ Is he offended that u asked me

 _Lily Evans:_ very

 _Lily Evans:_ but lets be real i had a crush on u way before i even knew jem existed

 _Remus Lupin:_ True

 _Remus Lupin:_ So this is expected, really

 _Lily Evans:_ u never forget ur first love, remus

\---

 _James Potter_ to _Lily Evans:_ so……..a baby?

 _Lily Evans:_ oh no i was joking

 _Lily Evans:_ it was a meme on twitter

 _Lily Evans:_ i already tweeted what u sent me btw

 _James Potter:_ i know i have u on tweet alert u prat

 _Lily Evans:_ awwww thats so sweet

 _James Potter:_ i hate u btw

 _Lily Evans:_ love u back babe

\---

 _Sirius Black_ to _Lily Evans:_ what’s this i hear about u having a baby

 _Lily Evans:_ who told u

 _Sirius Black:_ James

 _Sirius Black:_????? who else knows

 _Lily Evans:_ also asked remus for comedic relief

 _Sirius Black:_ and u didnt ask me??? offended

 _Lily Evans:_ u’ll live

 _Sirius Black:_ is it true?

 _Lily Evans:_ no u asshole

 _Lily Evans:_ it was a prank bc of a tweet i found

 _Lily Evans:_ u would have seen the tweet and jem’s response if u FOLLOWED ME BACK ON TWITTER

 _Sirius Black:_ i only follow my friends

 _Lily Evans:_ that stings, black

 _Lily Evans:_ i poured baileys in ur coffee when nobody was looking

 _Sirius Black:_ and i thank u for that

 _Sirius Black:_ but still refuse 2 follow u on twitter

 _Sirius Black:_ especially after u spoiled a star is born for me

 _Lily Evans:_ it has been out since october

 _Lily Evans:_ ur so annoying

 _Sirius Black:_ touche

\---

 _James Potter_ to _Lily Evans:_ can u stop being rude to sirius his ego is fragile

 _Lily Evans:_ did he tell u to say that

 _James Potter:_ yes

 _Lily Evans:_ unbelievable

\---

 _James Potter_ to _Sirius Black:_ help me plan a proposal to evans

 _Sirius Black:_ ur not already engaged?????

 _James Potter:_ fuck u

 _Sirius Black:_ jk

 _Sirius Black:_ ur mum gave me her old engagement ring for this exact moment

 _Sirius Black:_ its in my sock drawer if u wanna grab it

 _James Potter:_ absolutely not u can hand it to me i am not going in ur nasty ass drawer

 _Sirius Black:_ its not that nasty

 _James Potter:_ new plan

 _James Potter:_ help me and lily move the fuck out of our gross apartment

 _Sirius Black:_???? rude

\---

 _Lily Evans_ to _James Potter:_ can u stop threatening to move out sirius’s ego is fragile

 _James Potter:_ did he tell u to say that to me

 _Lily Evans:_ obv

 _Lily Evans:_ but we Do Not have the money to move out

 _James Potter:_ my parents have the money

 _James Potter:_ and u know theyd be willing to give it to us

 _Lily Evans:_ jem

 _Lily Evans:_ do u rly want to move?

 _James Potter:_ do u?

 _Lily Evans:_ i…...asked u first

 _James Potter:_ i would love to have our own apartment

 _James Potter:_ really, i would

 _James Potter:_ but i also don’t really want to leave this place, you know?

 _Lily Evans:_ oh god

 _Lily Evans:_ ur using correct spelling u must really be serious

 _James Potter:_ im james, actually

 _Lily Evans:_ fuck u

 _James Potter:_ no but i am

 _James Potter:_ but im always serious when im talking to u

 _Lily Evans:_ aaaand its gone

 _Lily Evans:_ ur name is JAMES

 _James Potter:_ ugh a woman after my own heart

 _Lily Evans:_ we can stay here, if u want

 _Lily Evans:_ a Lot has happened in this apartment

 _Lily Evans:_ but at some point it will be time to say goodbye to this apt

 _Lily Evans:_ so it doesnt have to be this month but we should probably start thinking abt it

 _James Potter:_ yea i know

 _James Potter:_ thank u

 _James Potter:_ love u

 _Lily Evans:_ love u too <3

 _James Potter:_ also

 _James Potter:_ maybe if we don’t move we could put more money to a wedding

 _Lily Evans:_ oh, jem

 _Lily Evans:_ i only need u and a minister

 _Lily Evans:_ and also the boys

 _Lily Evans:_ bc we need a witness and theyd also kill us if we didnt bring them along bc honestly theyre as involved in our marriage as we would be

 _Lily Evans:_ and i might also need som1 to actually ask me to marry him first

 _Lily Evans:_ thats p important

 _James Potter:_ i really do fucking love you

 _Lily Evans:_ i know ;)

 _Lily Evans:_ i love u too

\---

 _James Potter_ to _Sirius Black:_ i take it back

 _James Potter:_ we’re good

 _Sirius Black:_ on the moving out?

 _James Potter:_ and the proposing

 _Sirius Black:_ if u do it and im not there im going to murder u

 _James Potter:_ noted

\---

 _James Potter_ to _Lily Evans:_ oi dont wear the ring around sirius he’ll kill us both bc i didn’t do it with him around

 _Lily Evans:_ sirius can get fucked he doesnt follow me on twitter

 _James Potter:_ ugh fine

 _James Potter:_ it was nice knowing u babe

\---

 _Sirius Black_ to _James Potter:_ u are fucking dead

\---

 _Remus Lupin_ to _Lily Evans:_ All right

 _Remus Lupin:_ I just have to say it

 _Remus Lupin:_ Now that ur about 2 marry my best friend I just can’t hide my love for u any longer

 _Remus Lupin:_ Run away with me

 _Lily Evans:_ thats the most intense sext ive ever recieved

 _Lily Evans:_ im so down

 _Lily Evans:_ james says he cant believe u betrayed him like this

 _Remus Lupin:_ Why didn’t he just text me himself

 _Lily Evans:_ oh he blocked ur number once he read the text

 _Remus Lupin:_ Are u serious

 _Lily Evans:_ no im lily

 _Remus Lupin:_ Ok I take it back. James can have u

 _Lily Evans:_ he says he unblocked u

\---

 _James Potter_ to _Remus Lupin:_ i taught her the serious/sirius joke

 _James Potter:_ arent u proud

 _Remus Lupin:_ No

 _Remus Lupin:_ I hate it

 _James Potter:_ still cant believe she just married me tbh

 _Remus Lupin:_ Oh, I can

\---

 _Lily Evans_ to _James Potter:_ so ever since ur response to me telling u i want a baby has gone viral

 _Lily Evans:_ ive become a twitter celebrity

 _Lily Evans:_ and im thinking of making a vlog channel

 _Lily Evans:_ ur wife is internet famous

 _James Potter:_ oh man, i cant handle that pressure

 _James Potter:_ gotta rethink this whole thing

 _James Potter:_ we’ll talk abt this when i get home. i’m 5 mins away

 _Lily Evans:_ dont come home

 _James Potter:_ ouch evans i was joking

 _Lily Evans:_ NO i have a surprise 4 u and its not READY

 _James Potter:_ oh boy im scared

 _Lily Evans:_ dont b

 _Lily Evans:_ well maybe b

 _Lily Evans:_ honestly ur reaction is going 2 b as surprising as this surprise is tbh

 _James Potter:_ ok now im just confused but im coming in now

\---

 _James Potter_ to _Sirius Black:_ holy shit

 _James Potter:_ i’m having a fucking kid

 _Sirius Black:_ holy shit

\---

 _Lily Evans_ to _Remus Lupin:_ dont tell james but its ur kid

 _Remus Lupin:_ Oh good

 _Remus Lupin:_ Ok we should actually probably stop this joke or ur kids gonna get confused

 _Lily Evans:_ my kids gonna have 1 mom and 3 dads and 2 cats and 1 turtle

 _Lily Evans:_ his life is already crazy

 _Remus Lupin:_ His?

 _Lily Evans:_ dont tell james but its a boy

**Author's Note:**

> plz read!!! plz leave a comment!!!! plz check out my other fics if u feel so inclined!!!!! also:
> 
> the tweet im talking about (and the inspo for this mini fic) is from this tumblr post [here](https://okayloki.tumblr.com/post/182441713691/this-is-the-funniest-twitter-thread-ive-ever-seen).
> 
> the references to the cats and turtle are from my other fics: algernon, who is ofc pretty much canon, chewie who is from my oneshot chewbacca, and admiral ackbar the turtle from dogs in sunglasses


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